


Tbbloboerne and Edibles

by Threshie



Series: Prompt-based Works [8]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Castiel and Dean Winchester are Roommates, Chocolate, Crack, Domestic Boyfriends, Exasperated Castiel, Happy Dean Winchester, Humor, M/M, Marijuana, Toblerone
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-30
Updated: 2020-01-30
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:40:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22475764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Threshie/pseuds/Threshie
Summary: A suspicious package arrives on Cas's dorm room doorstep addressed to his roommate Dean. Cas thinks the contents are a death threat.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Series: Prompt-based Works [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1604302
Comments: 5
Kudos: 30





	Tbbloboerne and Edibles

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Casei_Solus](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Casei_Solus/gifts).



Cas is stepping outside to check the mail when he sees a brown box on the doorstep. It’s addressed to Dean — his roommate and not-so-secret boyfriend — and kind of long and thin.

When Cas picks it up, something shifts inside the box, sliding from one side to the other. The return address has been scraped off in shipping, just a smeared letter or two visible. It looks just plain suspicious, and Cas’s protective streak takes over.

He needs to know what this is and who sent it. If it’s something dangerous, he can’t let Dean just open it unaware, so Cas opens it instead.

Inside, resting with just a small receipt note saying “Thanks for your purchase!”, is a gigantic Toblerone bar. The text on the side doesn’t say “Toblerone”, though, it’s some hideous jumble of letters instead — “Tbbloboerne.” 

Cas grimly brings the Toblerone to the table and slaps it down. 

“Dean, we need to talk.”

His roommate steps over from the kitchen with a cup of coffee, his eyes wide like a deer looking at oncoming high beams.

It’s good that he’s taking this seriously, Cas thinks, because it’s serious business.

“Someone has it out for us,” he declares, holding up the ominous Toblerone. “This is a message.”

“Teb… Tbebeb…” Dean tries to sound it out, squinting at it. He gives up after a moment, taking a swig of his coffee. “So, what, they’re pissed at us so they send us chocolate? Nicer than a brick through the window, dude.”

He makes an excellent point, but Cas knows better than to assume the chocolate is an innocuous gift. Shipping something in means it’ll reach them undetected — they’ll have to open it to realize what it is.

“Well, message delivered,” Dean says with a shrug. “May as well eat it, we shouldn’t let good chocolate go to waste.” He reaches for the Toblerone, but Cas quickly holds it out of his reach. 

“No, this is evidence for the police!”

Dean gives him a weird look. 

“C'mon, man, it was just a few edibles, I'm not like a CRIMINAL criminal here...”

What in Creation is he talking about? Marijuana is small potatoes compared to this Toblerone death threat!

“You don't seem to understand the gravity of the situation, Dean. This is a WARNING — the next thing delivered will probably be a body part.”

Dean blinks, his expression going totally blank. 

“Have you been watching The Godfather again, Cas?”

Cas waves the Toblerone at him for emphasis. 

“Why are you even asking that at a time like this? That’s — that’s unrelated!”

Dean sits his coffee on the table, laughing. Cas places the Toblerone next to it and scowls.

“Cas,” Dean says, before Cas can start to talk again, “I sent the chocolate. To myself, while high as hell.”

Oh, he… Oh. Cas squints at Dean suspiciously. He definitely does some odd things while under the influence of marijuana, but usually harmless ones. Cas cannot shake the impression that “Tbbloboerne” is a threat.

“Tell high you not to threaten my boyfriend,” he says finally to Dean, sighing.

“I'll, uh, I'll send HIM a Toblerone with that on it,” Dean says, hurrying over to the computer. He’s typing away, and Cas is shaking his head in disbelief. He usually keeps an eye on Dean while he’s high — sort of the self-designated sober person — but somehow Dean managed to do this without him noticing. Had he ordered the chocolate in one of the brief times Cas went into the bathroom?

With a flourish, Dean hits the return key and grins. 

“More chocolate on the way! Hey, uh, I guess I better come clean and tell you that chocolate’s not the only thing I ordered last time I had edibles,” he admits sheepishly.

Cas opens his mouth to ask what now, but there’s a knock at the door just then. Dean hurries over and opens it, then smiles brightly and holds it aside. Four guys in blue uniforms step in, lugging an enormous shipping box.

“Dean. What did you buy,” Cas says, staring at it. His mind is somewhere between horror and morbid curiosity. Something that big had to cost a lot, right?

Dean signs for the box and waves at the moving guys as they retreat out the door again. Turning to Cas, his eyes are shining so bright and green that it’s difficult for Cas to be angry with him. Even if he just spent their grocery money on some huge paperweight. 

“It's a mechanical bull for our dorm room!” Dean declares, slapping the side of the box. It makes a solid thunking sound against his palm. Must be heavy. “Awesome, right? I'm gonna need your help putting it together, though. Gonna call him Larry.”

“Dean…” Cas looks at the box dubiously. “We hardly have room for BEDS in this dorm room.”

“Oh, no problem, I'll throw mine out and sleep riding Larry!” Dean says, like this is the most reasonable idea ever.

“Dean. No,” Cas says, exasperated. For a split second, his boyfriend gets a sad look in his eyes, thinking he has to send the giant ridiculous gadget back. …“We can stack our mattresses, you can sleep over here with me,” Cas sighs.

Dean blinks, surprised. 

“Wow, that means anybody who visits will know—”

“That we share a bed, yes.”

“That bull-riding is REALLY important to us! Awesome,” Dean says, turning to cut through the tape on the big box.

“Are you sure you aren't high right now?” Cas tries not to roll his eyes. Dean’s so happy, but this situation is so ridiculous, too.

“I AM, actually — high on happiness, because look how shiny Larry is!” Dean pulls one side of the box open, waving at the plastic-wrapped, padded shape of the mechanical bull riding chair inside.

Cas just shakes his head and goes to crack open the Toblerone. The things he does for his boyfriend.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading my crackish little fanfic! This fic was inspired by a picture I used as a prompt. [This is the picture](https://whitepeopletwitter.tumblr.com/post/190531383921), in case anybody's curious. :D Thanks to my pal Solus for showing me that pic. ♥ Comments and kudos always appreciated!


End file.
